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Waterslides in Wisconsin, Fun is Found
Posted on: 5/28/2010
Day 11: Evidence of a Primitive Waterslide
Our excavation at Lake Delton has proved most rewarding indeed. We’ve unearthed a pair of well-preserved, Mammoth-hide swim trunks. The trunks exhibit a severe, yet revealing wear pattern on the backside—almost certainly caused by a limestone waterslide.
We believe ancient Wisconsinites repeatedly doused a limestone slab with water and pitched it at an angle designed to produce speed. However, lacking a full understanding of physics, they neglected to account for the forces of friction. And not even the toughest Mammoth-hide could protect them. Fortunately, the friction problem was eventually solved.
The discovery of Wisconsin waterslide fun at Lake Delton comes as no surprise, as we are in Wisconsin Dells, known to modern humans as the waterpark capital of the world. Today, the luscious scenery of the Wisconsin Dells is festooned with an astounding variety of waterparks.
In fact, Wisconsin’s waterparks will open their doors to summer fun-seekers very soon. My fellow music aficionados will certainly appreciate Rock the Ark, the summer-long Battle of the Bands concerts at Noah’s Ark, while countless others will avail themselves to the delights of Dells area activities.
If you love water, Wisconsin summers can be characterized thusly: The most fun under the sun. Catchy phrase, don’t you think?